Never Taught Anything

Dear Not Teaching Anything (important):

Thank you for torturing my life along with many other students’ lives. Your books are so unnecessary. Everything they are supposed to teach me will not help me the rest of my life. When am I ever going to need to talk about a zebra and their “pijamamas”, wandering storks and monkeys potato dipping habits again? I have learned this specific language since I was 4 and still, I don’t know grammar or how to use past or future tense. The subjects taught in these books are irrelevant and should not be taught.

Aren’t the books supposed to be finished before we are given a test? I still have 20 pages left in my book. Each class and each level should have their test on the book only after they finish the entire book. Personally I do not think that the specific test date is compulsory.

The stories that we analyze are so frivolous. Do you think that I have no other classes? The amount of homework I have for this one subject is absurd. I spend 20 minutes trying to figure out what one word means. I end up having to write the entire essay on Google translate just to get it in on time. Also, typing in this language is no easy task. You expect us to be able to write 5 pages when it takes me 5 hours to write one sentence.

Sincerely,

Teen Drama Queen

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Thanks For Taking My Money

Dear Snack Company,

I understand that the economy is bad, but does that mean that you are limiting the amount of cookies or chips that you put in the package?           Today, I bought a bag of chips, thinking that it would be enough for my friend and me to share. I opened the bag, and to my surprise I found that the bag was ¼ filled. Honestly, there were like 7 chips in the entire bag. So I paid $1.00 for 7 chips. That is .14¢ a chip. What a rip off?!?!? Seeing as the chips did not satisfy my hunger, I decided to buy a bag of cookies, hoping for more than 7 cookies in the bag. Well when I opened that bag, there were only 5 cookies inside. I wasted another dollar for 5 cookies the size of a penny. I have paid less for a Mrs. Fields cookie that is at least the size of 10 pennies. Thank you for stealing my money.

Sincerely,

Teen Drama Queen

How much would you pay for these?


I want the $1.50 back.

 

Cupcake

Image via Wikipedia

 

When I wrote this: 2 minutes after I “tried” to eat a cupcake.

Why I wrote this: The cupcake was disgusting!

To the brick maker, I mean baker:

Today I had the unfortunate luck of trying one of your cupcakes and boy was it awful. You have some nerve serving those bricks to paying customers. The stick of butter you call frosting was NASTY, let alone rock solid. The cupcake was so hard, if I were to have thrown it at a wall, the wall would have a huge crack. So not only did I “break” my teeth trying to eat the cupcake, I couldn’t even bite into it. The cupcake tasted like cement (don’t ask me why I know what cement tastes like). EWWWW. I demand a refund for the $1.50 I spent on that cupcake. I suggest hiring a new baker. One that makes warm, soft, fluffy cupcakes. Not hard as a rock, cinder blocks. I will NEVER buy another dessert item from your bakery again.

Sincerely,

Teen Drama Queen

Can you guess the bakery?

Should I send it?

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To the Management of the State of Which I Reside

To the Management of the State of Which I Reside:

I am completely aggravated with the traffic lights in this city. Today I was able to experience sitting at a light, waiting, for 20 minutes. Now this light is not far from my school, it is actually the light that turns, left into my school’s parking lot. Let me just tell you, I was late to school. Not only was I late, but also I would have been early if the light stayed green for more than 2 seconds. Two seconds isn’t even enough time for one car to go.

Another reason I was unable to make the left turn was because of the awful drivers in this state! I blame the accidents, the cell phone usage and the traffic on YOU. Do you think that 6 mandatory (for only people under the age of 18) hours of driver’s education is enough? No Way! It took me 4 hours of lessons driving to be comfortable on the boulevard in this city. Not only is the 6 hours too short, but also drivers’ education should be mandatory for ALL AGES. The horrendous drivers in this state are not just teenagers. The blame is put on you for the following reason: you made the driving test the easiest test anyone has ever taken.

One more thing I would like to discuss is the freeway situation. Was there a better time of the year that you could tear down and reconstruct parts of the freeway. Thank you for doing it at night, but honestly it still does not change the awful traffic that this situation has caused.

Please take in to consideration all the points I have shared with you.

Sincerely,

Teen Drama Queen


 

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Sitting Behind a Desk

To: Sitting Behind a Desk,

“Hi, how are you” “How is your day” “Of course, let them know” “go ahead honey, they are in their office” These are a few examples of what I would like to hear when I walk into an office and you are sitting behind your desk. But instead this is what I get from you- a glance and then the back of your head (which by the way, you’re going grey). Now I’m sure that there is something more interesting on your computer screen, but your job is not to stalk your ex on Facebook, but to help the person waiting at the front desk. When you finally decide to help me (after I cough, grunt and clear my throat obnoxiously to get your attention, for what seems like 5 hours), you turn and roll your eyes and then go “what do you need?” How do you think that makes me feel? Well it makes me feel like I am not worth your time and it really makes me not want to work with your boss. Honestly you are lucky to have a job, especially in this economy. When an ad goes out for a secretarial job, are the prerequisites to be: nasty and lazy? When I walk into the office I feel like I am in an unemployment office, talking to the monotone, an unhappy secretary. The worst is at private schools, you are rude and yell at the students and the parents. The parents are your employers! They pay for you to have a fricken job. I suggest you put a smile on your face (especially if you don’t want to look 80, but I think it is a bit too late for that one) and be polite.

Sincerely,

Teen Drama Queen


Poll Results!

Voting is now closed for the first two letters

Dear Readers,

Looks like I need to go buy some stamps! The votes resulted in SENDING THE LETTERS!

American was  WRONG!

Continental was WRONG!

I flew United. Congratulations to the voters who guessed right.

**If you guessed right, email me at teendramaqueen.blog@gmail.com for your prize!

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