To the people who raised me #1

To the people who “raised” me:
You need to stop bothering me. I need a week away from you!  Below is a list of things you two MUST improve:

1. Your controlling personalities. (Ease up on the rules)
2. Incessant chatter. (It gives me a headache)
3. Never listening to me. (Even pretending to listen would be an improvement)
4. Not letting me drive. (I have had my license for over a month. Let me drive alone already!)
5. Yelling at me.
6. Assuming that when I say one thing, I mean another. (I do not hate your f***ing cooking)
7. That I come second to my brother (aka he is the favorite)
8. Coming into my space without my permission. (And then telling me that it is too messy)
9. You never leave me alone.
10. You keep secrets from me (by the way, if I go into my bathroom, I can hear EVERYTHING you say when you are sitting in the kitchen)
11. Telling my secrets to each other and everyone else you know. (How would you like it if I told your secrets?)

Please change your ways by November 1, 2010 or I am officially never talking to you again.

Sincerely,

Teen Drama Queen